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Buying a home together is exciting. You’re touring properties, imagining where the furniture will go, talking about neighborhoods, and figuring out how much house you can comfortably afford.
But if you’re buying with a partner you’re not married to, there are a few conversations worth having before you fall in love with a house and write an offer.
And they aren’t exactly the fun conversations.
Who owns what? What happens if one person contributes more toward the down payment? What happens if one of you wants to sell someday and the other doesn’t? And what happens to the home if one partner dies?
Nobody wants to think about a relationship ending while buying a home together. But getting clear about these questions upfront can protect both buyers and prevent much bigger problems later.
Here’s what unmarried couples buying a home in California should understand.
Yes, Unmarried Couples Can Buy a Home Together
First things first: you do not need to be married to purchase a home together.
Two people can apply for a mortgage jointly, and a lender can consider the financial information relevant to the application, including income, assets, debts and credit history.
California also provides fair-housing protections that include marital status. Your relationship status should not determine whether you receive fair access to housing opportunities.
The bigger question for unmarried buyers usually isn’t whether you can buy together.
It’s how you want to own the property once you do.
Don’t Wait Until Closing to Talk About Title
One of the most important decisions you’ll make is how you’ll hold title to the home.
It sounds like paperwork, but it has real consequences.
Title can affect your ownership rights, what happens to your interest in the property if you die, and what options you have if you eventually decide to go your separate ways.
For unmarried couples, two common ways of holding title are joint tenancy and tenancy in common.
Joint Tenancy
With joint tenancy, co-owners generally hold equal interests in the property and have a right of survivorship.
That means if one owner dies, their interest generally passes to the surviving joint tenant rather than becoming part of the deceased owner’s probate estate.
That simplicity can be appealing, but equal ownership may not reflect every couple’s financial arrangement.
For example, what if one person contributes substantially more toward the down payment?
That’s something you’ll want to discuss before deciding how to hold title.
Tenancy in Common
Tenancy in common offers more flexibility because owners can hold different percentages of the property.
Maybe you agree on a 50/50 ownership structure. Or perhaps one person contributes more toward the purchase and you decide that your ownership percentages should reflect that.
There is another important difference: tenancy in common generally doesn’t include an automatic right of survivorship.
An owner’s interest can instead pass according to their estate plan or, without one, applicable inheritance laws.
That’s why title and estate planning often need to be discussed together.
Talk About the Down Payment Before You Transfer the Money
Imagine one partner has saved $200,000 and the other has saved $75,000.
You’re both comfortable contributing those amounts toward the purchase—but what exactly do those contributions mean?
Is the additional money a gift?
Does it give one person a larger ownership percentage?
Is some of it intended to be repaid later?
There isn’t one arrangement that’s right for every couple. What matters is that both people understand and agree on the arrangement.
And get it documented.
A conversation over dinner is much harder to rely on years later than a properly prepared written agreement.
Have the Awkward “What If We Break Up?” Conversation
I know. Nobody wants this conversation when they’re excited about buying a house.
Have it anyway.
Buying property together is a significant financial commitment, and unmarried co-owners don’t necessarily have the same legal framework that applies when married spouses divorce.
Before buying, consider talking through questions such as:
- If the relationship ends, does one person get the first opportunity to buy out the other?
- How would you determine the home’s value?
- How much time would someone have to refinance the mortgage?
- What happens if neither person can afford to keep the home?
- How would proceeds be divided if you sell?
- How will you handle money spent on major repairs or improvements?
You may never need to use the answers.
That’s the best-case scenario.
But having them can prevent an already difficult situation from becoming a financial battle too.
Consider a Written Co-Ownership or Cohabitation Agreement
This is where getting advice from a California attorney can be extremely valuable.
A written agreement can establish how you intend to handle the property, including ownership contributions, ongoing expenses and what happens if circumstances change.
For example, an agreement might address how you divide:
The mortgage and property taxes. Will you split everything equally or contribute based on income or ownership percentage?
Repairs and improvements. If one person pays $40,000 for a kitchen renovation, does that affect anything later?
A future buyout. How will the property’s value be determined, and how long will the other person have to refinance?
A sale. Under what circumstances can either owner request that the home be sold?
California law can become complicated when unmarried partners own property together, so this is one area where I wouldn’t rely on an internet template and hope for the best.
A short conversation with an attorney before buying can be far easier—and less expensive—than resolving a dispute later.
Remember: The Mortgage and the Title Aren’t the Same Thing
This distinction is incredibly important.
The mortgage determines who is financially responsible for the loan. Title determines who owns the property.
Those aren’t necessarily identical.
And if two borrowers sign a mortgage together, a private agreement between them generally doesn’t remove either person’s obligations to the lender.
For example, if you break up and agree that one person will keep the house, simply moving out doesn’t automatically remove the other borrower from the mortgage.
The person keeping the home may need to qualify for refinancing or another lender-approved solution.
That’s something worth thinking through before purchasing.
Think About Estate Planning Too
It’s uncomfortable to discuss, but homeowners should also consider what happens if one partner dies.
Your preferred outcome may depend on how you hold title and what your estate-planning documents say.
If you want your partner to receive your interest in the home, don’t simply assume that’s what will happen.
Talk with an estate-planning attorney about wills, trusts and other appropriate tools so your legal documents match what you actually want.
Before You Make an Offer Together
You don’t need to turn your relationship into a business meeting. But you should be able to have a clear conversation about the financial commitment you’re making together.
Before writing an offer, make sure you understand how you’ll contribute toward the down payment, how monthly housing expenses will be divided, how you intend to hold title, what would happen if one person wanted out, and what you want to happen to the property if one of you dies.
Then bring in the appropriate professionals—your lender, real estate agent, title or escrow professional, and an attorney when legal advice is needed—to make sure the documents reflect those decisions.
The Bottom Line
Buying a home with someone you love can be an incredible milestone.
And talking about the uncomfortable possibilities doesn’t make the purchase any less exciting. It simply means you’re treating a major financial decision with the care it deserves.
The goal isn’t to plan for your relationship to fail.
It’s to make sure both people understand exactly what they’re agreeing to before hundreds of thousands—or potentially millions—of dollars are involved.
If you’re considering buying a home together in San Jose or anywhere in Silicon Valley, I can help you understand the homebuying side of the process, connect you with the appropriate professionals when legal or financial advice is needed, and help you build a strategy for finding a home that works for both of you.
This article is for general educational purposes and isn’t legal, tax or financial advice. California property ownership, estate planning and agreements between co-owners can have significant legal and tax consequences. Buyers should consult qualified California legal, tax and lending professionals about their individual circumstances before deciding how to hold title or structure an agreement.
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About the Author – Michelle Elliott
With over 20 years of experience navigating the fast-paced Silicon Valley market, I provide a strategic, results-driven approach to residential real estate. My career is built on a foundation of deep local expertise and a relentless commitment to my clients’ success, resulting in over $235 million in lifetime sales volume and a consistent ranking in the top 3% of agents in Santa Clara County and top 2% at Coldwell Banker. My expertise has been featured on KTVU Fox 2, Real Producers and the Willow Glen Resident. She is also the co-host of the San Jose Podcast “Say What You Want About Real Estate”
A Hyper-Local Expert with Global Reach
I specialize in San Jose, in the neighborhoods of Willow Glen (95125 & 95124) Cambrian Park and Almaden, Downtown San Jose/Japantown (95112) markets. As a certified Luxury Property Specialist with Coldwell Banker Realty, I combine high-end marketing strategies with granular neighborhood knowledge to help my clients achieve premium results.
The “Tiger” at the Negotiating Table
My clients have characterized me as a “tiger” at the negotiating table who remains “sweet and patient” with my clients throughout the process. I pride myself on being a fierce advocate for my buyers and sellers, ensuring the best possible terms in every transaction, and I strive to be the best Realtor in 95125! This balance, drive, and tenacity have earned me consistent 5-star ratings across Google, Zillow, Realtor.com, and Yelp.
Michelle Elliott
Michelle@michelleelliottrealtor.com
1712 Meridian Ave, Ste C, San Jose, CA
DRE 01777533
